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Lost in Costco
"Lost in Costco" is a creepypasta created and performed by Claire. This pasta is featured in Episode 5 of the podcast. This transcript is unfinished because I have bad ears. Also some misspellings may be in here so fix those k thanks bye. Transcript Hi. I need to tell this story to someone or else I don’t know what I’ll do. I’m a Costco gold star member. The membership is $60 and i highly encourage all of you to get one, but NEVER EVER get the super gold star member card. I went to Costco one day after I had started yelling at my kids and I needed to get out of the house and I look my son, Capn K'nuckles, because his soccer match was cancelled and I didn’t want him to be left alone inside the house. I said “Capn K'nuckles we’re going to Costco” and he said “O-K!” So i started doing my normal shopping, I just wanted to get giant boxes of cereal because I have 13 kids and they eat so much food oh my god. An employee flagged me down and I said “yes” and he said “we’re doing a special deal we have this new membership card” and I went “oh whoopie what is it?” and he said “It’s a super gold star executive card, the normal gold star executive card is $120, the super gold star is $121 and it comes with so many, so many perks and wonders and wonderful things you should just get it” and I was like “welp I have been thoroughly convinced. Come on K'nuckles, we’re going to the desk to buy my super special super star executive gold member card” so I did. And i horked up my $121 and they gave me the card and then they said “ok, go shop now” and I said “O-K” and I began to shop. I realized though as I kept going though the aisles and the halls and the everything. They kept getting longer and longer and I kept thinking This store is really BIG. It’s bigger than I thought it was! And i turn around and I so “Knuckles my blue skinned son where are you?” but he was nowhere to be found. I couldn’t find him. My beautiful blue son. And I said “NO! MY SON! WHERE ARE YOU?” and so I’m yelling for my son and an employee says “I have your son” and I say “WHAT?” I am still yelling at this point because i am frantic and are afraid for my son. You see he is very sick and weakly because his skin is blue because of silver poisoning. I need to keep my eye on him at all time or else he’ll get more silver in his body and then he’ll continue to get more blue and more blue. And then I said “YOU BETTER NOT BE MAKING MY SON MORE BLUE!” and they said “oh we are :)” and I said “NO! YOU YOU FIEND I SWEAR TO GOD OR ELSE I’LL GIVE YOU SILVER POISONING TOO!” “Just follow me :) to the back room :) of Costco :) :) :)” so i walked past all the beautiful smellin’ samples I wish I could have, but I needed to get my son, Capn K'nuckles, back. I had to forgo my temptations to get one of those square pizzas that are like really good. They’re like Alfredo and spinach by they’re like so good I don’t know. BUT I HAD TO FOCUS ON MY SON, MY SON K'NUCKLES. So I had to focus and he led me to the back room, right? All of my kids are there. All of them I don’t know how they got there. Capn K'nuckles is tied up in a chair and they’re embedding more poison. Not poison. Silver into him. So he’s turning more and more blue, and they’re making my kids watch. This is now time for me to name my kids, they weren't named before. They said “you need to name your kids” and I’m like “O-K uhhhhhh” I said to my first born son “your name is uh… Gorby” I’m like “uhh I can’t think of names on the spot, employees of Costco could you help me?” (and so they did) Gorby Captain K’elbows Captain K’kneecaps Captain K’ankles (Fuckin’) Rick Sanchez Steve from Minecraft (Fuckin’) Will i am Pearl from Steven Universe Pearl and the entire cast of Pearls Before Swine Pearl Jam Steven Pastus Spongebob Oatmeal (tiny baby son) Pauly Shore Captain K’crazy funny man Captain Crunch Speed Racer Captain Krunk I say to the Costco employees “thank you for naming my kids but I swear I-I beg, please release my son” and they’re like “NO WE NEED TO MAKE HIM MORE BLUE! This is part of the super gold super membership card. We make your son blue!” but I’m like “HE’S ALREADY BLUE!” I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO! MY SON, MY TERRIBLE KIDS ARE ALL WATCHING MY SON GET MORE BLUE! I SIGNED UP FOR A COSTCO CARD I’M DOWN $121 I JUST CAME HERE TO BUY $5 PALLETES WORTH OF PEACHES FOR MY TERRIBLE 13 CHILDREN AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO! And then they said to me “your son is blue enough now you can go” and i’m like “what really?” and they’re like “yeah, just a little bit more, we wasn’t blue enough” and I’m like “Ok do you want to keep my 12 other kids?” and they’re like “yeah sure.” So i left with Captain K’nuckles I bought like, a hotdog, like a 50 cent hotdog and a big ol’ thing of soda and then I went home. I never found my 12 kids again : Captain K’nuckles Gorby Captain K’kneecaps Captain K’elbows Captain K’ankles Speed Racers Pearl from Steven Universe Will i am Cedric the entertainer Rick Sanchez Category:Creepypastas